Have the wedding you want, not the wedding other people think you should have!
When it was my turn to be the bride, I went through the same stresses and decisions as every bride. Working within the wedding industry means that I have seen my fair share of weddings, I've seen different trends come and go, I've worked in a range of venues and seen a whole load of wedding dresses.
Each wedding was perfect for that couple in their own way, each one embracing different traditions, and each one having it's own unique elements.
Me and my James started wedding planning pretty much as soon as we got engaged. We knew from the start that we didn't want something overly traditional, we wanted only to be surrounded by people we loved, and wanted the wedding (and planning) to be as relaxed and laid back as possible.
Anyone who knows us knows that we're not the most traditional couple. I have a slight obsession with leopard print, crafty things and donuts; James dons long ginger hair and a beard, he's passionate about music and cooking, and is also partial to a good donut. We each have our own passions and styles which we wanted to incorporate into the day. We didn't want to people please. We wanted the day to be about us and what we liked, and if people didn't like it, who cares! We wanted our day to be about us, fun and food.
Your wedding day shouldn't be full of pressure.You should be able to have the day exactly how you want it without worrying someone in the family being upset or offended. Trust me, I've been there. Like any bride, I came across conflicts with wedding planning. Not everyone thought that leopard print shoes were a good choice, but I wore them anyway. Some people assumed they would be invited purely because we're related, even though we didn't speak. And, despite what many people would do, we didn't invite family members who we didn't feel supported by. (Controversial I know!) We only wanted to be surrounded by people who we loved most in the world, and if it meant offending some people, then so be it. We wanted our wedding day to please us, not anyone else.
It's often said that grooms aren't interested in wedding planning, most staying out of the way and letting the bride plan exactly what she wants. Like most brides, I assumed my experience would be similar. But surprisingly James had some very strong opinions about our day, and I'm so glad he did! Number one on his list was good food...And who says no to that?! Number two was the colour. He wanted to wear blue and chose yellow for his tie so that was our colours sorted. James also picked the venue and was in complete control of the music.
But, one of the biggest requests that James had, turned out to be the thing that made our day so personal and perfect!
Right from when James proposed, he said that he didn't want someone we didn't know marrying us. It stumped me for a while as obviously to make the wedding legal, a registrar (who we wouldn't know) would be conducting the ceremony. It took a while to figure out how we could make this possible, and eventually came up with a plan...two weddings.
On a Thursday morning a few days before our official wedding date, unbeknownst to our guests, we went to St George's Hall with just my mum and James' parents.We had a short and sweet ceremony to get the legal stuff done, and celebrated with a champagne breakfast. Although after this we were officially married, we didn't make a big deal of it, and we don't class it as our wedding day. Our wedding day was a few days later when we were surrounded by all our friends and loved ones, when I walked down the aisle, we enjoyed gorgeous food, played games, ate donuts, danced the night away and...it was when our parents conducted a ceremony we ourselves had written.
James got his wish. We were married by the people who love us most in the world.
It wasn't a traditional wedding, but it was perfect for us. And that's all that matters isn't it? Your wedding day should be perfect for you no matter how traditional or non traditional that may be. Its should be a day that you enjoy with touches you know you'll remember forever. And you should find suppliers who understand your vision, embrace it and are excited to help you make your day just as special and personal as you want it to be.